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Digging and Gnawing...

I repeat myself. I am not sure if I ever write or say anything that is ever novel. I continue to dig up and gnaw on the same old bones of wisdom that I buried years ago. I rehash these looping thoughts- almost obsessively, I must admit. My heart feels like a closet filled with the same clothes that I wore last decade (actually… that is true for my actual closet… just ask Robyn).

I have always admired others who seem to have this richer inner life. They are was always getting fresh insights and revelations. They are gifted with interesting new deliveries arriving daily to their soul’s mailbox. I stare out the window and wonder why the UPS truck avoids my home. As I wrote above, I repeat myself.

I am grateful again to the writer and Trappist monk, Thomas Merton. Reading Merton always ends in a polite re-introduction to myself. His humble and forgiving reflections welcome me to the human race, again and again.

Another helpful and graceful Merton insight:

Keeping a journal has taught me that there is not so much new in your life as you sometimes think. When you re-read your journal you find out that your latest discovery is something you already found out five years ago. Still, it is true that one penetrates deeper and deeper into the same ideas and the same experiences.” The Sign of Jonas

Let me know if UPS shows up. I did order something online months ago.

In the meantime, I guess I will keep digging and gnawing…


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